Playing Favorites

Are you a morning person or a late-night person? Do you prefer spending time with groups of friends, or would you rather be alone? Do you have a favorite flavor of ice cream, a favorite sweater, a favorite season of the year—even a favorite coffee mug?

Everyone, it seems, plays favorites. Children have favorite toys. Fans support their favorite teams. Musicians have favorite composers. In church, many of us have favorite songs, favorite verses of Scripture—even favorite preachers we appreciate more than others.

Personal favoritism, though, can be very destructive. Paul told Timothy to "keep these instructions without partiality, and to do nothing out of favoritism" (1 Timothy 5:21). James admonished the church not to give special honors to the rich or insult the poor. "If you show favoritism," he warned, "you sin and are convicted by the law as lawbreakers" (James 2:9).

Favoritism harms families. Isaac, who had a taste for wild game, had a special fondness for his son Esau, who was a skillful hunter. Rebekah, on the other hand, preferred their son Jacob who had a quiet disposition and stayed home among the tents (Genesis 25:27, 28). This parental favoritism contributed to a long and painful rivalry between Jacob and Esau, and years later, Jacob repeated the mistake. His special love for his son Joseph caused intense jealousy among Joseph's brothers.

The Bible says God "does not show favoritism" (Romans 2:11), but a skeptic might challenge that assertion. Didn't God show special kindness toward his chosen people Israel? Didn't Jesus have a special friendship with his inner circle of disciples—especially John, the "beloved disciple"? If God doesn't play favorites, why do some people starve while others enjoy abundant food? Why does one person pray for healing and get well, while another prays for healing and dies? If God loves everyone equally, why do so many people—even some who were brought up by faithful Christian parents—feel so distant from him?

Yes, God blessed the descendants of Abraham—but he wasn't just playing favorites. His ultimate goal was to "bless all peoples on earth" (Genesis 12:2, 3). Yes, Jesus had a close inner circle of friends—but all of us can be his friends if we obey his commands (John 15:14). Yes, some people enjoy greater material prosperity than others—but not because God lacks compassion for the poor. And while the heavenly Father doesn't say "yes" to every prayer request, we can be sure that "in all things God works for the good of those who love him" (Romans 8:28). He wants to show favor to all of us in Christ!

How can parents show God's favor to our children? "Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it" (Proverbs 22:6). We must do our best to lead our children to Christ, but each child bears personal responsibility for what he does with the truth he's been given. "Listen, my son, and be wise," the Bible says, "and keep your heart on the right path" (Proverbs 23:19). As adults, each of us must find the particular "way we should go" to live out the Christian values our parents or others have passed along. And when, like prodigal sons and daughters, we've wandered far from God, it's our responsibility to humble ourselves and come back home.

Jesus said, "There is rejoicing in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents" (Luke 15:10). Evidently, saving a lost son or daughter is one of the Lord's favorite things to do.