Synoptic Parents

After a recent meeting a friend commented, "I thought there was a healthy synopticism in the room."

It took me a moment to realize what he meant. Synoptic means "seeing with" or "seeing together." We call Matthew, Mark, and Luke "Synoptic Gospels" because they present a common view of the life of Christ. (While harmonizing with the other three, John's Gospel tells the story from a somewhat different angle.)

My friend was right. There was indeed a healthy synopticism at our meeting as a dozen people came to the same conclusions about some complicated matters. We saw things alike.

His comment got me thinking about the importance of synopticism in the home. Jesus observed, "Every kingdom divided against itself will be ruined, and every city or household divided against itself will not stand" (Matthew 12:25). No two people are going to see every issue exactly the same way, but to have a healthy marriage, a husband and wife need to agree as much as possible about some foundational principles.

They need to agree on the basics of their faith. The Bible says, "Do not be yoked together with unbelievers" (2 Corinthians 6:14). Of course, there are times when one spouse becomes a Christian and the other does not, and the Bible offers wise counsel for the "unequally yoked" spouse in this challenging situation (1 Corinthians 7:12-16; 1 Peter 3:1, 2). But a Christian who's single and considering marriage needs to take seriously the biblical admonition not to join together with an unbeliever.

Years ago I met a woman who had an atheist dad and a church-going mother. I was amazed to learn that they had attempted to resolve their religious differences by agreeing that they would raise any male children as atheists and any female children would go to church with Mom! Not surprisingly, their kids grew up very confused. How much better it is when a father and mother are united in Christ as "co-heirs of the gracious gift of life" (1 Peter 3:7). How blessed are the children when both of their parents pray with them, model Scriptural values to them, and take them to church.

A husband and wife need to see their money the same way. Not only is the love of money "a root of all kinds of evil" (1 Timothy 6:10); it's the root of all kinds of strife in the home. Couples need to communicate fully and honestly about their finances, agree on a budget, and develop a consistent and unified approach to spending, saving, and giving.

Synopticism also means the husband and wife need to agree about how they will bring up their children. Mom and Dad need to be united and consistent in the rules they establish and the discipline they exercise. Children shouldn't be allowed to pit one parent against the other. When I was a boy, I knew it was pointless to try to get Dad to say "yes" if Mom had already said "no." My parents also adopted an attitude of synopticism with my teachers at school and at church. The adults I encountered in early childhood presented a united front and modeled a consistent Christian worldview.

The next generation needs the gift of synoptic parents. Children are blessed when their parents share a common faith in Christ and set a unified example of godliness and love.