The Downside of Mother's Day

In homes, churches, and restaurants across America, women will smile today as loved ones shower them with carnations, cards, and kind words. But many will meet this morning with mixed emotions, and privately they'll breathe a sigh of relief when the day is over. Some faithful churchgoers will even stay home from worship because for them Mother's Day means pain instead of joy.

Who could possibly dislike a day devoted to moms? Lots of people, actually. Oh, for the most part, they're a quiet bunch. They aren't going to mount a campaign against a wholesome holiday. They believe mothers deserve lots of honor and appreciation.

That's exactly the problem. Some women would like to be mothers, but they've remained unmarried and childless, or they have faced the frustration of infertility while insensitive friends—and well-meaning Mother's Day festivities—reinforce the notion that their lives are incomplete if they are not married with children. Others live with the secret of a long ago and much-regretted abortion. And what about birth moms who made the courageous choice to place their babies in adoptive homes? How does Mother's Day feel to them?

What about the widow who has no one to send her a card or buy her flowers anymore? Or the mother of a prodigal child from whom no card or phone call will come? What about those who grieve because of the death of a child, or because of Mom's illness or death? Will the single mom who struggles to keep her head above water enjoy herself today, or will Mother's Day merely amplify her loneliness?

How should you honor your mother if she has been abusive or emotionally unavailable to you? What if her lifestyle mocks the Lord instead of honoring him?

Mother's Day definitely has a downside. So how can we help the women in our lives enjoy the upside?

We can truly honor our mothers. Not just today, but every day. Not just because of a national custom, but because of the love of Christ—a love that keeps "no record of wrongs" (1 Corinthians 13:5). Americans celebrate the Fourth of July because this land is still a great place to live despite its many flaws. On Mother's Day we can honor even an imperfect mom for the good she has done. "May your father and mother be glad; may she who gave you birth rejoice!" (Proverbs 23:25).

We can encourage all of our sisters in Christ. Women make incredible contributions to the body of Christ. How will you use this day to honor Christian "women who work hard in the Lord" (Romans 16:12)?

We can be "family" for those who have no family. Jesus said, "Whoever does God's will is my brother and sister and mother" (Mark 3:35). His spiritual family is far-reaching. He promised that those who have given up the comforts of home for the sake of the gospel will receive many blessings, including homes, brothers, sisters, mothers, and children (Mark 10:29, 30). In the spirit of pure religion (James 1:27), is there an orphan or widow for whom you can be family today?

Finally, we can give thanks for the perfect love of God. "Though my father and mother forsake me, the Lord will receive me" (Psalm 27:10). God's love can help you find the upside of any day. And if you have been blessed with a mother who loves the Lord and loves you, that's all the more reason to give thanks—and to give your mom a well-deserved hug.