The Most Important Discipline

What is the most important kind of discipline? The Bible tells parents, "Do not withhold discipline from a child" (Proverbs 23:13), which indicates that discipline is one of a child's basic needs. Loving parents should no more withhold discipline than they would withhold food, water, and shelter. Passive parents who refuse to correct and rebuke their children make the same mistake King David made with his rebellious son Adonijah: "His father had never interfered with him by asking, 'Why do you behave as you do?'" (1 Kings 1:6), and David's family and nation suffered because of his neglect. Parents can't control what our grown-up offspring will do, but while they're young it's our solemn responsibility to train them up in the way they should go.

What about the guidance school-teachers and administrators give to their students? My high school principal, Mr. Cook, was a strict disciplinarian. He walked the halls and made sure the students were in class. He monitored the length of the boys' hair and enforced the school's dress code. The students respected him and knew he cared about us, but we griped and complained constantly about his rules. A couple of years ago, though, Mr. Cook attended the 30-year reunion of my graduating class, and everyone received him warmly. In retrospect, his strict boundaries were good for us.

Other kinds of discipline are valuable, too. Without military discipline, an army falls apart. Without church discipline, God's people slide into blatant sin. When government leaders lack discipline, whole nations suffer. Successful athletes are disciplined enough to stay in shape. Ernie Banks, Hall of Fame baseball player for the Chicago Cubs, was a model of good sportsmanship. In his entire 19-year career in the Major Leagues, Banks never was thrown out of a game for arguing with an umpire. His secret? "Just follow the rules," he says.

Ah, surely there's the answer: The most important kind of discipline is self-discipline—advance decision-making—deciding ahead of time how you will respond to certain situations.

Mark Antony was handsome, intelligent, and a brilliant orator, but he lacked self-control. His personal tutor once told him, "Oh Marcus, Marcus, colossal child! Able to conquer the world, but unable to resist a temptation." The Bible says, "Like a city whose walls are broken down is a man who lacks self-control" (Proverbs 25:28). A well-disciplined child internalizes godly values so deeply that he will make the right choices even when his parents are not around. A self-disciplined employee follows proper procedures even when her boss isn't there to supervise. A faithful Christian honors the Lord even when no one else is looking.

Many kinds of discipline are valuable, but the one that stands above all others is God's discipline. Hebrews chapter 12 teaches us that God's discipline:

Is a sign of his affection for us. "The Lord disciplines those he loves" (v. 6).

Indicates that we are part of his family. "Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as sons" (v. 7).

Always has our best interests at heart. "God disciplines us for our good, that we may share in his holiness" (v. 10).

Brings short-term pain but long-term gain. "No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it" (v. 11).

Our heavenly Father is the only perfect disciplinarian. That's why the psalmist prayed, "Happy are those whom you discipline, Lord, and those whom you teach from your law" (Psalm 94:12, New Living Translation).