To Love and to Cherish

It's been almost 29 years since my wedding day, but I still remember waiting alone and tense in the back of the church, waiting for the ceremony to begin. I remember smiling for photos till the muscles in my face hurt. And I remember how beautiful the bride looked as she walked down the aisle on her father's arm.

Weddings in Biblical Times

Some of Isaac and Rebekah's wedding customs sound familiar to us. Their parents prayed and blessed them, they exchanged gifts of rings and bracelets, and their families shared gestures of hospitality. Rebekah even "took her veil and covered herself" (Genesis 24:65). Yet, their customs were quite different from ours. Their parents pre-arranged the marriage before Isaac and Rebekah met. Rebekah didn't wear the gold ring on her finger but in her nose. Hospitality meant watering camels. And the wedding ceremony itself was remarkably simple: "Isaac brought her into the tent of his mother Sarah, and he married Rebekah. So she became his wife, and he loved her" (Genesis 24:67).

By the time of the Judges, wedding customs had become more elaborate and the festivities usually lasted for a week. A big party, however, could not make up for poor judgment in selecting a spouse. Samson "saw a young Philistine woman" and apparently based his decision on looks alone. He came home and told his parents, "I have seen a Philistine woman in Timnah." Without much forethought and certainly without any pre-marital counseling, he demanded, "Now get her for me as my wife." His parents objected, but again Samson insisted, "Get her for me. She's the right one for me" (Judges 14:1-3).

As the weeklong wedding feast unfolded, Samson told a riddle to 30 wedding guests, who prevailed upon Samson's new bride to give them the answer. She "threw herself on him, sobbing, 'You hate me! You don't really love me. You've given my people a riddle, but you haven't told me the answer.'" By the end of the week the bride gave away the answer to the riddle, Samson exploded in anger, and his in-laws gave his wife to the best man (Judges 14:8-20). Not exactly a happy honeymoon.

Jesus performed his first miracle at a wedding where he changed water into wine (John 2:1-11). In his Parable of the Ten Virgins, Jesus used wedding customs to illustrate how his disciples need to be ready at all times for his return (Matthew 25:1-13). Though he was single, the apostle Paul saw marriage as a powerful illustration of Christ's love for the church (Ephesians 5:22-33). And John's glimpse of Heaven's glory included "the wedding supper of the Lamb" (Revelation 19:9).

Changing Times, Unchanging Truths

Wedding customs come and go, changing with the times. Couples have exchanged the tent of Isaac's mother for a honeymoon suite in the Bahamas. A week of feasting on the fatted calf has been traded for a bowl of punch and dishes of nuts and mints. For many, the classic "Wedding March" has given way to contemporary tunes strummed on the guitar.

But in these days when homosexual activists are attempting to redefine the very institution of marriage, we must remember that in the eyes of God marriage is not merely a civil union; it's a sacred union. According to Jesus, it's a man and a woman uniting as one flesh in a holy commitment before God (Matthew 19:4-6). Marriage means solemn promises and life-long vows. It means exciting emotions like romance, joy, and anticipation of the future. But it's also about lasting values like faithfulness, loyalty, and perseverance in sickness and health, in poverty and wealth, for better and for worse.

The marriage covenant was ordained by God, not invented by us. Let's remember this every time we witness a man and a woman committing themselves "to love and to cherish, till death do us part."