We Need Friends

How many friends do you have? I don’t mean the shallow kind who like your Facebook posts. I’m talking about loyal companions who are there for you in good times and bad. Someone said, “A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out.”

C. S. Lewis noted, “Friendship is unnecessary, like philosophy, like art . . . . It has no survival value; rather it is one of those things that give value to survival.” In other words, we could survive without friends, but who would want to? The Lord declared in the Garden of Eden that it’s not good for man to be alone. We’re hard-wired to live in relationship with God and others.

Friends Make a Difference

Even the powerful and self-sufficient King Solomon needed friends, and he insisted it’s foolish to go it alone. “Two are better than one,” he wrote in Ecclesiastes 4:9. Why is this so?

True friends comfort us in times of sorrow. Solomon observed, “I saw the tears of the oppressed—and they have no comforter” (Ecclesiastes 4:1, New International Version). We all need friends who “rejoice with those who rejoice, and mourn with those who mourn” (Romans 12:15).

Solomon grew weary of seeing how “all toil and all achievement spring from one person’s envy of another” (Ecclesiastes 4:4). Driven by compassion more than competition, true friends don’t jealously try to outdo each other.

Friendships teach us to care about others. Solomon wrote, “There was a man all alone; he had neither son nor brother. There was no end to his toil, yet his eyes were not content with his wealth” (v. 8). Self-centeredness leaves us unfulfilled. Someone said, “People wrapped up in themselves make very small packages.”

Teammates can make work more productive. “Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor” (v. 9). Jesus sent out his disciples two by two (Luke 10:1) and missionaries like Paul and Barnabas usually partnered with others instead of serving alone (Acts 13:2, 15:22).

Friends lift us up when hard times come. “If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up. Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone?” (Ecclesiastes 4:10-11).

Friends increase our courage and strength. “Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves” (v. 12).

Our Best Friend

Solomon’s short essay on friendship concludes with a memorable illustration: “A cord of three strands is not quickly broken” (v. 12). In marriage, the Lord is the third cord that connects husbands and wives together. In the church, his Spirit unites believers with the “bond of peace” (Ephesians 4:3).

Proverbs 18:24 reminds us that some friends shouldn’t be trusted. “One who has unreliable friends soon comes to ruin,” it cautions. However, that same verse goes on to say, “but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.” Did this verse come to the disciples’ minds when Jesus told them, “I have called you friends” (John 15:15)?

If you want a loyal friend who will comfort, uplift, and challenge you, here is my advice. Stay connected to that third cord.

This is the third in a series of articles based on the book of Ecclesiastes. Next week: “Be Careful What You Say” (Ecclesiastes 5 and 6).

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