When No One Says Thanks

Do you feel unappreciated? On the highway of life, are you stuck at the corner of Ingratitude Street and Taken for Granted Avenue?

At your job, you go the extra mile to serve your customers and please the boss, but no one recognizes your effort or even says “thanks.”

You work at a restaurant and serve a demanding table-full of guests. When they finish their meal they leave two things behind: a big mess to clean up and a miserly tip.

Driving in heavy traffic, you notice a frustrated driver trying to find a place to merge. Mercifully you allow him to pull in front of you, but he doesn’t even give you the customary hand-wave to say “thanks.”

The Bible says, “Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling” (1 Peter 4:9). But that’s hard to do when guests raid your refrigerator, soil your carpet, and don’t bother to say “thank you” when they leave.

You inherit a sum of money from a relative’s estate and decide to tithe it to a ministry your loved one admired. You send the check along with a note explaining the significance of your gift, but the non-profit organization seems unappreciative. Eventually you get a receipt and a form letter, but no one personally acknowledges the gift.

You serve as an elder year after year, giving your time and doing your best. Your wife seldom complains about all the evenings when you’re away attending meetings or visiting church members who need a shepherd by their side. In your heart you sense that the Lord called you to do this work, but otherwise you rarely receive any positive affirmation. When you make the right decisions no one seems to notice, and when you make the wrong decisions no one seems to forget.

We all need to feel that our efforts are appreciated, but what about those times when no one expresses any gratitude? Here are some points to remember when you do a thankless job.

Even when no one else notices, the Lord does. “The Father sees what is done in secret,” and he rewards those who give freely and privately (Matthew 6:1-4).

Doing the right thing is its own reward. The Lord deserves our obedience, and his commendation, “Well done, good and faithful servant,” should be enough to motivate us. Jesus said:

Suppose one of you had a servant plowing or looking after the sheep. Would he say to the servant when he comes in from the field, ‘Come along now and sit down to eat’? Would he not rather say, ‘Prepare my supper, get yourself ready and wait on me while I eat and drink; after that you may eat and drink’? Would he thank the servant because he did what he was told to do? So you also, when you have done everything you were told to do, should say, ‘We are unworthy servants; we have only done our duty’ (Luke 17:7-10).

When you do a thankless job, you’re in good company. If anyone knows how it feels to be unappreciated, it’s the Lord himself. Jesus healed 10 men of leprosy, but only one came back to thank him while the other nine rushed on with their lives (Luke 17:11-19). In a society saturated in selfishness, it’s not surprising if our efforts go unappreciated about 90 percent of the time.

We call it thanksgiving for a reason. It’s a gift, and we can’t control what others give to us. While it’s pleasant to be on the receiving end of thanksgiving, “It is more blessed to give than to receive” (Acts 20:35). Others may choose a different direction, but the pathway of blessing always leads through the intersection of Gratitude Road and Generosity Street.